It can be risky letting yourself by vulnerable. It can hurt at times, but it can also be superb.
As I embark on a new project to write a book, I ask for your patience, acceptance, and open-mind. As I look back over my life, I see some awesome experiences, some not so great times, and I see a childhood rooted in dysfunction. This dysfunction made me who I am today, for good and bad.
In “Patterns and Creativity of a Dysfunctional Life”, I hope to share my life along with some educational and restorative exercises to help anyone who is willing to try them. Having grown up with the false sense of what a perfect life was supposed to be, I struggle a bit to create the life I want and dismiss this concept of perfection.
While we are all different with varying needs, various interests, and equally varying skills and personalities, defining success isn’t so hard as it is time consuming. The life you create does not have to be based on the learned behaviors of a dysfunctional environment. In fact, the life you create must be based on your true soul, your true passions, and not from any other source.
Join me on Patreon (cancelled) as I begin this journey. It seems a bit scary, but the product of being vulnerable will have an impact on our society. A positive impact, I hope.
Boxes are great for containing things. Whether moving or just trying to clear the clutter, a box comes in very handy. You might even choose a box with some character, scratched out handwritten labels, shipping stickers and ancient yellow packing tape. Yes, the box is a great thing.
But a box can also describe the perspective we live in. Along the lines of “stuck in a rut,” living inside the box is a familiar place. The box is the universe we live in, not only the physical space of home, work, the grocery store and the coffee shop, but also the mental world, the thoughts, the emotions, and the perspectives on the world. By this definition, the box can start to take on a different feeling.
The life you live is the sum of the decisions and actions you make. These decisions have many different types of influences, be it from your friends or networking group or from the thoughts which pass through your mind. While many of us are quite content with the box we’ve built for ourselves, others may not be.
Change is how your box changes shape, color, and even location. “Think outside the box” is a phrase we often use to set loftier goals for ourselves. In fact, personal growth happens most when we step outside the box we’ve come to love. A life of learning, new places, and new people is a great way to keep your box changing forever.
Here are some ideas to go beyond your box:
- Take an online course – many are free and cover a wide variety of topics.
- Join a book club – Sure, Oprah comes to mind, but reading is a great way to expand your box, as is engaging in discussion.
- Invite a peer out to lunch – Not only do you get to experience a new atmosphere, but you share the experience with someone and bond with them.
- Learning a new language or instrument – Learning to speak German or how to play Pachelbel’s Canon on the piano, the process of learning something new stimulates brain activity and makes you feel good.
- Meditate – breathe, let your thoughts go, and relax. Reflect on the thoughts which come up naturally and be prepared to write them down afterward so you can take action.
- Take a vacation – it does not have to be an exotic place like Thailand, but a change of scenery is enough to get you thinking differently and open your horizons
- Take a different route home from work – this is one tip I love and practice daily. You never drive home the same route day after day. This opened me up to new routes and I found some places to visit at the same time.
While the box is a really cool thing, it is okay to think about life outside the box.
Happy New Year!
It is with great pleasure that I say farewell to 2010 and greet 2011 with open arms.
2010 was a very exciting year for me:
1) I finished 5 sprint triathlons! Read more at http://aricintraining.com
2) I set the foundation for my triathlon training dashboard. More to come later.
3) I survived a near death experience thanks to being stung by a bee while riding my bike!
4) I am the author of one of the top not for profit flight simulator blogs in the world. Check it out: http://arealityofmyown.wordpress.com
5) I learned the value of what it means to be honest and sincere in a good friendship.
6) I was able to help a leading cloud computing company understand their business better with some creative analytics and visualizations.
7) learned that I still have a lot to learn.
8) Universal Studios Hollywood is a much smaller park than I expected.
9) I learned how wonderful it feels to have someone by your side through thick and thin.
10) I know that for all the wonderful changes that occurred during 2010, I know 2011 will have many more to come.
11) Learned that there is never a perfect answer to anything.
Overall, I think 2010 was a year of challenges that truly tested my devotion to achieving my goals. I know that I will only achieve them if I am consistent with my perseverance.
Cheers to an awesome 2011!
Successful companies don’t appear overnight.
Dreams are not reality simply by getting out of bed in the morning.
Losing weight does not happen overnight.
One thing we need to remind ourselves of constantly is that big, hairy audacious goals (bHAG) are the fruition of many small actions (MSA). If we focus our attention on the baby steps that lead to the bHAG, dreams are a reality.
When I took the attached photo, I thought, “my gosh, that guy is going to be there for a long time!” I was going to post it on Twitter with some crazy, humorous caption. But then I realized what it represented.
Sure the guy has a bHAG of loading the sand into the truck with just a tiny shovel. But each shovel full tossed into that truck is an action (MSA) toward the bHAG. Life is about taking one shovel load at a time and tossing it into the truck. Enjoy each toss, because that goal gets closer and the pile smaller with each one; enjoy it while it lasts.
What are your bHAGs? Are you aware of each MSA that you need to achieve them?
As one experiences life, there are many buckets or personas that life sceintists can place people into. The buckets include efficient precision (those who plan carefully), sponteneity (people who live in the moment only), and quantity (those who are more concerned with sheer volume than quality).
There are people that require many years of observation to place them into the correct persona. On the other hand, some people only take seconds and leave behind many clues. Take the photos below:
Clearly this individual used A LOT of duct tape and after watching the recent Mythbusters Duct Tape Hour, I couldn’t let this one go unnoticed. If you notice in the second picture, the lack of precision in regards to the placement of the mirror, precision and planning probably was not used in this project. While the end is functional, the quantity approach definitely fits here.
Started the day off with my espresso machine.
Then moved to pushing/pulling/flipping a limp, falic looking punching bag around in my own sweat.
Then it was time to dodge stoplight/stop sign runners while retrieving my long lost phone from home.
Finally, work… where horns honk, lights flicker, and its just me and the Macbook Pro.
Yep, it is the journey that counts… perhaps more so than the end result.